The 5 Love Languages

 

Gary Chapman, a well-known American Author and relationship psychologist, wrote The Five Love Languages in 1995. In his book, he writes about the 5 ways people express and receive love. The book is meant to help you better understand these love languages allowing you to love better and grow closer in all of your relationships – intimate or not. Here, I want to break down these love languages and how they can be used when someone close to you is going through the grieving process after losing a loved one.

 

Quality Time

Someone’s whose love language is quality time is someone who would rather spend time with you rather than receiving flowers or a gift. Offer to sit and watch a movie or go on a walk with this person. Your time doesn’t cost anything but will mean everything to this person.

 

Words of Affirmation

This person values words of encouragement. Consider sending them a sympathy card with a heartfelt handwritten note inside or possibly a grief journal or coloring book with quotes or words of inspiration and support.

 

Acts of Service

Someone who feels adoration by things you do for them is someone whose love language is acts of service. For this person, you may consider creating a meal train after their loss, or you may consider helping them with business that needs to be taken care of after a death. Offering your time to help will mean the most to them.

 

Touch

For someone whose love language is touch, they prefer small physical gestures over gifts or words of encouragement. For this person, a gift of a hug may be the most supportive gift you could give. You may also consider a gift card for a massage or a self-care basket with their favorite lotion or body wash.

 

Gifts

This person is the person you buy the flowers for! This person values visual expressions of love. This does not have to be expensive and costly. A small surprise gift for several consecutive days in a row will mean a lot to this person. A meal is a great gift to give as it also ensures that this person is taking care of themself during the grieving process.

 

Kindness: (n) the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

 

Being kind doesn’t cost a thing, but it is something to be treasured and everyone can afford to give it!

 

• Sarah Driskell