Obstacles for a Grieving Woman…
We had a great opportunity to sit in on a panel of grieving widows and learn more about how death and grief effect women. Sometimes we see grief as universal but in fact, it can effect each sex a little differently. My brother and I eyes were opened to what a woman might encounter after their husband passes and how the world views them… so here is some of what we took from our experience with Women and Grief.
Where is the money?
For some marriages, of older generations especially, it is very common for the husband to handle the finances as well as the investments. So many times the husband will tell his spouse not to worry, everything is handled…. then when he passes she has no clue where to even start with the finances. This is very stressful for a spouse going through the turmoil of her husbands death and then on top she is wondering if she can even pay her bills. The panel of women all struggled with this and for most of these women the answer came from sitting down with a good financial advisor. Actually this session to help grieving women was put on by Ronald Blue & Co, they offer a program designed specifically for women that are put in this position. Having a good financial advisor is like having a good funeral director…. it can take away the worry and questions and put your mind at ease to focus on your family.
This will cost how much?
Another eye opener is to see how many of these women would get taken advantage of because…… well, they are a woman! Unfortunately there are companies out there that actually have certain selling “strategies” when they see a grieving widow coming in. This in itself is horrible, and I must also admit that there were some funeral homes and cemeteries involved in the taken advantage of women… and it just about broke my heart to hear. The stories from the panel of women extended from home repairs, automotive repairs, etc… just about any service that was needed, they encountered this. There are many strong women that would notice this and act accordingly but apparently there are more women who would actually be subjected to this and just say “ok”. There is no easy fix for this but the panel that day found comfort in having family around during these decisions and being on the look out for this happening.
Purses and Nurses?
This was another hot topic that was discussed. This lovely panel of women all encountered men that were on the prowl and trying to swoon them as soon as the funeral was over! This was actually a funny discussion but it has some real, not so funny, meaning. A lady on the panel said that there are men out there who are looking for “Purses and Nurses”! This is something that needs to be very closely monitored for a grieving widow because it happens to many of them!
After this panel discussion we actually brought back some ideas to our team here at Mayes Ward-Dobbins to make sure that we are especially looking out for grieving women and taking extra steps to ensure their safety. We are teaming up with a few organizations now that we will offering these women classes and groups to help them team up with the right people and make sure that they are being looked after the way they should be. No one should ever be taken advantage of during a time of loss, regardless of the sex, but especially a grieving woman. As I have always heard… “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!”.